raptorjesusbearcavalry:

thisgirllovesherfandoms:

tired-and-fed-up:

IM FREAKING OUT AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HHHH

AND THE CUSHIONS FIT WHAT KIND OF QUADRANTS THEY’RE IN TOO AAHHH

Sometimes I feel like tumblr users have never seen a deck of fucking cards before.

raptorjesusbearcavalry:

thisgirllovesherfandoms:

tired-and-fed-up:

IM FREAKING OUT AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HHHH

AND THE CUSHIONS FIT WHAT KIND OF QUADRANTS THEY’RE IN TOO AAHHH

Sometimes I feel like tumblr users have never seen a deck of fucking cards before.

Feeling really restless and wide awake. Probably because of my nap earlier. I’m just so bored, my dash is dead and I’m out of books. I wish I had a friend to go night driving with. I miss it but don’t like going alone anymore. It’s always more fun with a friend. Maybe I’ll just look for a movie on Netflix. Sigh

a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about

the-sad-little-fallen-angel:

icyblueroses:

ryancage:

encyclopedophile:

encyclopedophile:

EVERY REBLOG

EVERY SINGLE REBLOG

WILL GET A THING IN THEIR ASK

EVEREBLOG

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I SWEAR

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TO

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FUCKING

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FISH JESUS

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DO ANY

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OF YOU ACTUALLY 

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REMEMBER

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REBLOGGING THIS?

247 REBLOGS, I HAD TO GO THROUGH. I HIT ASK LIMIT LITERALLY EVERY HOUR. AND MOST OF YOU DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE IT. AUUGH

humor me

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HOW THE FUCK…

Thank you

kingsleyyy:

reblog if this cat is prettier than you

kingsleyyy:

reblog if this cat is prettier than you

A message from Anonymous


One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?

thecultofcraze:

kill-anime:

marfmellow:

stripperina:

Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.

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SEX WORK IS REAL WORK! FUCK YOU!

is being a stripper actually sex work, though? you’re not actually doing any sexual acts.

A lap dance can be considered a sexual act, and you are actually using sexual appeal in order to get money even if you don’t perform a lap dance, so yeah, I’m inclined to consider it sex work.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:


saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

bloodyxxkisses:

hannabalx:

fortheloveoforca:

emptythetanks:

savethewailes:

sharkhugger:

Petition: Hong Kong Government: Legislate a ban on the sale and possession of shark fin in Hong Kong.

From Honduras to New Caledonia, from the Bahamas to the Maldives, the people have spoken. And governments have listened. Now is the time for Hong Kong to wake up! The public is ready. The business sector is behind us. Now is the time for a total sale and possession ban on shark fin in Hong Kong. By doing so, Hong Kong will take a giant step to join the conservation efforts of numerous countries around the world who have enacted shark protection legislation. In Latin America it will join Honduras. In the United States it will join California, New York, Hawaii, Washington, Maryland, Delaware and Oregon. In the Pacific region it will join Palau, Tokelau, Marshall Islands, French Polynesia, Cook Islands, American Samoa, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands and New Caledonia. Even China has agreed to stop serving shark fin soup at official banquets, to take effect in the next year or two.

Banning shark fin from the streets of Hong Kong will be the single most important marine conservation achievement of the year. It will be an important step towards protecting the health of our oceans. It will also remove the stain on Hong Kong’s reputation as a world-class tourism hub.

This petition is endorsed by: Shark Rescue

BALLSIEST. PETITION. EVER.

IF THERE WAS EVER A HEAD TO THIS DRAGON - THERE IT IS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT A HUGE DIFFERENCE THIS WOULD MAKE??? WITHOUT THE ISSUE OF SHARK FIN SOUP WE COULD CONCENTRATE ON THE ISSUE OF BYCATCH AND SOLVE THIS ISSUE PERMANENTLY.

Save sharks! They are so important.

please sign the petition guys

Its a fucking blood bath! Sign this petition you guys!

I’m crying……..SAVE THE SHARKS PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

FUCK THIS. Please sign this. :’(

lady-redrum:

wasthatnotsideblog:

just gonna say this: if someone has social anxiety and they ask you something akin to ‘are you mad at me’ or ‘do you hate me’, it isn’t because they don’t trust you, it’s because their brain literally tells them that all the time

it’s not a personal slight, it’s insecurity caused by mental illness

thanks

TAKE NOTE.